Still waiting

This morning when I was peeking in on Naomi before heading out to work, she started to wake up a little. She saw me in her room and I think that woke her up even more. Since she was still only half awake I snuck out so she wouldn’t wake up anymore. I ended up being 10 minutes late to meet my car cause I wanted to stick around to make sure she went back to sleep. I heard her talking to herself for a little, but I think she finally fell back asleep. Everyone says it gets easier once you get over the adjustment period of being back at work. Are they robots? How does it get easier to leave your kid in the morning every day? I spend my days about as productive as the lame kid next to me who can’t even answer his own phone. I’ve become one of those obsessive parents that spends her days looking and sharing photos of her kid to anyone that will slow down long enough to be captured into my web.

My office is filled with women who want to work. Women who say when they were on maternity leave they couldn’t wait to get back into the office where they could have intellectual conversations. Maybe there’s something wrong with me, cause I felt no desire to come back. How do millions of moms around the world work? There has to be some secret to making it all work. How do I make my 2 hours with her in the evening feel like enough. What kid of parent can I be on 2 hours a night? A friend/co-worker told me that when she’s old enough to realize, she’ll think it was cool that her mom was a working mom. Either that or she’ll resent me for never being there. Of course that friend/co-worker has a stay at home mom.
Anyway, I’m still chugging away. And I’m still waiting for this to all get easier.